The Spaces Between Pt. 5



Frantically pacin’ back and forth. Jayce knows that he has finally exposed his hand. 

“Bitch you just had to call didn’t you?” he screams in the phone.

“Dumbass nigga you didn’t have to answer or respond the way you did” Tessa cackles.

“That’s your muthafuckin’ fault, but anywho, how are we gonna make this happen since she left!

Uh, no gettin’ caught at dinner now!”

“Listen, bitch; I want Liv probably more than you want Raj bitch ass. I was tryna make her jealous not run off, and she won’t answer my calls” Jayce hollers. I gotta get her to that restaurant, and imma do it! You just make sure his parents are there.”

“Don’t worry bout me nigga. I know you really do loooooove this pussy, but um I know how to play my role” Tessa hisses. “It’s their regular date night, and I set it up for them every week because Liv is too lazy” suckin’ her teeth, “you just find the bitch.”

“I know where she’s goin’! Don’t give that nigga all my pussy. Imma still hit it from time to time bitch!” Jayce laughs hangin’ up and heads to his Wraith.

What I have with Liv is in 5D and completely different! How could I fuck this up this badly?” Jayce hollers slammin’ on his steerin’ wheel.

There is no lust, ego manipulation, control or selfish pleasures. It’s all about unity, we become one with another, experiencin’ a divine union and sharing the highest form of intimacy through deep layers of trust and vulnerability and I just lost all chances of keepin’ her” as he speeds down his driveway.

“If I’m giving you the cold shoulder, that’s closure
Needed someone to hold
But we both had our own motives, never told him that mine was to stay alone
And you don’t belong to me
So you don’t have to let me go
Doesn’t always have to be something more
I’ll be on my way”
 blastin’ H.E.R from Liv’s speakers.

“I shoulda been let this nigga go! Both of em really. I’m a badass bitch wit’ plenty bread and a lucrative company! How I let myself get caught up?” I scream. 

“I’m so fuckin’ shitty right now I could kill a muthafucka. My husband fuckin’ the same bitch, my boyfriend, fuckin’. Imma kill dis hoe! No, I’m not. That’s premeditated, but I got sumn for erybody! Sighin’ to myself. 

“I got this! Hmmph” smirking! Blrlrlrlrlrl. Blrlrlrlrlrlr. I really wish this nigga would just leave me alone right now lookin’ at Jayce call as I’m pullin’ up to a blue bungalow in Little Five Points: 

I remember when I first bought this spot. I had made my first $100K on a gown that got me invited to The Fédération de la Haute Couture. The level of embellishment in that grey mesh Swarovski studded piece, took over a thousand hours to create, as each was hand sewn. I worked my fingers until they bled and I cried every night. I just wanted to be successful in the fashion game and own my own business. Shortly after returnin’ from Paris, I moved into this house and made it my home; I was hella proud. What’s funny is, Raj doesn’t even know I own it, when I met him I was in a condo at the Twelve. I thought I was doin’ sumn in a high rise to the point that I only ever pulled up to this spot when I needed to design a couture dress or when I fuckin’ Jayce bitch ass. Mmmmmmcth suckin’ my teeth, let me go have a fuckin drink. 

“Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh” I holler out standin’ at the kitchen counter. “The fuck am I gonna do now?” slammin’ down my glass of Kettle One just thinkin’ hard as hell. When we invest ourselves in deep personal relationships, we take a risk. We could always get hurt. The more we expose ourselves, the greater the potential for pain. No one can hurt us like someone we’ve trusted with our heart. No one. I’m really trippin’ because I’m no better than any of them, but I felt like all of my moves had been around the ones Raj made. I refused just to be unhappy and let a nigga dog me out while I took care of home and kids. Where I fucked up at was gettin’ too deep wit my side nigga. We might even have a fuckin’ baby together, if this shit goes public, I’m fucked! I just gotta chill and take this shit into perspective; it was probably good I found out Jayce was fuckin’ wit Tessa, cause now I can cut him off. I’d never leave Raj for him, and he knows it. Maybe that’s what this is about; he started fuckin’ wit Tessa to either piss me off or catch me up. Either way, that nigga is done, sippin’ my drink. 

Blrlrlrlrlrl. Blrlrlrlrlrlr. Who the fuck is this? lookin’ down at my phone:

“Hello,” I say.

 “Uuuuuum yes, is this Ms, Beauchamp? This is Melissa from The Capital Grille” I hear on the other end. 

“Oh yes, this is her” I utter.

 “Well, we’re just making sure you’ll be dining with us tonight?” the tiny white girl voice on the other end squeaks. 

“Yes, I’ll be there, but it’ll only be for one, thank you.”

“Thank you for the update, Ms. Beauchamp, we’ll see you in an hour” she hangs up.

I might as well eat. Enough of this Vodka on an empty stomach will have me ready to do somethin’ stupid, laughin’ to myself. Everything is gonna be ok. Let me go wash my ass and make myself presentable. 

Blrlrlrlrlrl. Blrlrlrlrlrlr. “You find the bitch yet” Tessa screams in Jayce’s phone. 

“Yeah I found her bitch, she’s at our lil spot” Jayce yelps back sarcastically.

“Well, my patna at the restaurant texted me ya bitch was still goin’ so maybe she changed her mind and is still goin’ to meet you there” Tessa laughs.

“I don’t know, she still ain’t answerin’ the phone. Imma see if she leaves here and Imma follow her” Jayce says distressed. 

“You ain’t soundin’ sure my nigga” Tessa laughs. 

“One way or the other them people gone see us together” Jayce hangs up the phone watchin’ Liv walk across the living room in her lace panties. “Damn that woman is fine” he whispers. “I gotta keep her on my team!

“There’s nothing I want more in this world

Than somebody who loves me naked
Someone who never asks for love
But knows how to take it
Are you that somebody
Who sees a wall and breaks it
Are you ready to fight just to see what’s lost behind my flaws
Can you love me naked?
 Ella Mai croons from Liv’s bedroom speakers.

I really wish someone would love me naked without fuckin’ over me. “Ok bitch, don’t start cryin’” I whimper to myself. I’m better than this. I been too playa all my life from the moment I jumped off the porch in the hood. I’ve come too far to let a bunch of bullshit muthafuckas take me out. Slidin’ into my double-breasted satin-twill pastel pink suit and nude SO KATE Louboutin’s. I’m gonna have a good night anyway hoppin’ in my ride. 

Ugh, there’s always a bunch of people here, that’s why this nigga wanted to come here, he wanted to be seen tuh! “Hi, ma’am would you like to valet” a young man’s voice snaps me out of my trance. 

“Uh yeah, yeah I would” I smile, and he runs around to open my door. 

“Thank you, ma’am, let me help you down!”

“You’re so sweet” smilin’ at the lil chocolate baby. He couldn’t be any more than eighteen, nineteen, but I’m sure he’s a heartbreaker too thinkin’ to myself as I reach the hostess stand. 

“Yes, reservation for Beauchamp please.”

“Right away ma’am” a pretty young brunette girl says. “I’m Melissa, I just talked to you on the phone, good to see you” she smiles, “right this way.”

The lil lady directs me to a cozy booth. “This is cute” I mention while slidin’ into the booth.  “I hope you enjoy your evening” Melissa retorts while walkin’ away. 

Boop. I just wanna talk to you Jayce texts.

I’m not fuckin’ wit you right now, I text back.

He messages, I can’t live without you Liv, don’t do this to me.

What is that we need to talk about Jayce, you fuckin’ wit the enemy my nigga. I’m good on you! I respond.

JAYCE: Just tell me where you at Liv! Let me explain! 

ME: I’m handlin’ my bidness and clearin’ my head. I gotta see about my kids. “I know that’ss make him leave me alone,” suckin’ my teeth.

JAYCE: We could be a family by now if you would just do the right thing!

This nigga has to be out of his rabid ass mind. I know he didn’t bring this shit up again. 

ME: I don’t know what you’re talking about sir. You must have the wrong number


Let me turn this phone off; this is dead. An older black woman walks up to the table and asks if she can take my drink order, “Kettle One dirty martini, three olives please”I don’t even look up while hittin’ the power button on my phone. This nigga won’t make me weak and get the best of me. Four martinis’ later and my waitress is back askin’ me if I want to order food.

“Just let me have the tab lady, and I’ll go sit at the bar, I don’t really want any food,” I exclaim. 

Smiling, “I can have your tab transferred to the bar ma’am if that’s what you’d like,” she says.

“Yes, that would be lovely,” I respond droppin’ a fifty on the table headin’ to the bar. There’s an end seat available, and I hurry towards it before anyone else can get there. 

“Well, well, is that Olivia?” I hear from behind me. I sigh hard, I know that voice, it’s Vanessa Bush, the editor of SENSEI Magazine. I spin around with a strained smile on my face, “why yes, it is! How are you, Vanessa?”

“I’m great, love the suit!” pointin’ up and down, “so, what are you working on right now” she expresses rather lively for me at the current moment. 

“I have a lot of things on the way, well Tori and me,” I chide.

“Can’t wait to see which ones we’ll post,” she smirks walkin’ away. 

My Gawd now was not the time to see her or have a conversation. One false word and it’s all wrong for me, at least the corner seat is still here. The bartender smiles at me and places another martini in front of me. My ambition should be to gettin’ me as much life out of livin’ as I possibly can! As much enjoyment, as much interest, as much experience, as much understanding, and not to only be what is generally called a “success,’ but I’m fuckin’ it up on my own. Nobody really made me cheat; it was my choice. “Another please bartender” I put my glass up, and he nods. 

“LIV” I hear Jayce holler behind me, and I just put my head down. I knew I shoulda took my ass home! “I love you,” he spins my chair around and drops down to one knee. I am mortified at this point grabbin’ my bag to run, and he grabs my hand, “will you marry me, Olivia?” 

Everyone starts applaudin’ and just then, I see Raj’s father standin’ to the back left of Jayce lookin’ confused. I was rendered speechless and frozen in place. Before I could catch my bearings, the cameras were already flashin’! I’m fucked and fired up!