THE CONDOM

Soooo, I’m in Walgreens right, and I’m looking for some condoms. ๐Ÿ˜†

It’s been a while since I’ve had to use them, but I’m out here living my best life now, ๐Ÿคธ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธso I wanna be protected. ๐Ÿ’ช๐Ÿฝ

I hate Magnums, because it’s like Motorsport in the room, ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ’จespecially if a mf turns into Beast from X-Men on your ass mid-stroke. ๐Ÿ‘น

Anywho, I’m minding my business when a guy gives me the googly eyes, ๐ŸŒฟ๐Ÿ‘€๐ŸŒฟso I just speak and keep it movin’. ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ’จ

A Blk lady comes up, and she’s like “the fire and ice is everything sis, try em out! ๐Ÿ˜

I’m like, “idk if I want my cootie cat tingling tho.” ๐Ÿง

We’re chopping it up, and a young white lady stops and says, “that Trojan Pleasure Pack is my go to.” ๐Ÿ˜

I’m like, ” yeah, this intense looks flame! I might have to try that!” ๐Ÿ˜œ

The three of us are now talking about experiences with condoms when two dudes bend the corner. So now, we’re blushing and hoping they didn’t hear us. ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿปโ€โ™€๏ธ

The Latino guy is like “try Nirvana! I broke a bih down with those.” ๐Ÿ’ช

Then his patna, a Blk guy is like, “I can’t fit in any of those.”๐Ÿ˜ฆ

The other ladies and I are like ๐Ÿ‘€ , and he’s smiling from ear to ear. ๐Ÿ˜

So I ask, “what do you recommend for those who are larger then?” ๐Ÿ˜Š

He’s like, ” try Kimono or the Magnum bare skin.”

The ladies and I are like ๐Ÿ‘€๐Ÿง๐Ÿค” , but the Kimono’s are like $20 for 3!

The white lady says “that’s a little expensive for me to run thru in one night!”๐Ÿ˜„

We’re all now looking at her like ๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ˜ง๐Ÿ˜ฆ๐Ÿ˜ฏ

In my mind, I’m wondering why I’m having a convo with four other ppl in Walgreens about condoms. ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ I’m really kind of embarrassed!

Then, the dirtiest lookin’ nga comes around the corner and says, “idk why y’all using condoms anyway!” ๐Ÿ˜ˆ “I wish I would use a condom on a bitxh.” ๐Ÿ˜ 

Needless to say, we all grabbed a box of Kimono’s and walked off. No one wants to die fkn after you sir. Good day. ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿฝ๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿป๐Ÿ‘‹๐Ÿพ

This is copyrighted material by Sunflower The DJ ยฉ2019